IF YOU CAN'T BLIND THEM WITH BRILLIANCE...

I've just gone through the December 2006 issue of the Communications of the ACM, and the most commentable article is "RFID and the End of Cash?" by Ian Angell and Jan Kietzmann, which offers enough to feed the spasms of the maddest of conspiracy fans.

The basic point is that RFID (radio frequency identification) chips will soon be in everything we buy. Worse than that, they will even be in our money (reports that this was coming were called "premature" in 2003). At that point we will no longer be able to buy anything anonymously. There will be no under-the-counter cash-only jobs. The government will be able to calculate exactly how much you owe in taxes, it will be able to tax you--if you don't want to pony up on April 15--by remotely inactivating your money, and it will be able to stimulate the economy by putting expiration dates on your bills (Use it or lose it, folks). And if you find a way to inactivate the chip (perhaps by microwaving the bill), well, a bill without a working chip won't be any good.

Since any goon with a remote reader will be able to tell whether you're worth mugging, there's gonna be a big market for foil-lined wallets. But that won't do much to fight the government's Big Eye. Fortunately there's a possible answer to both problems, as well as to the worry about people being able to read what's in your car or house. Get a good supply of random assorted (for stuff you don't have) RFID chips--at a nickel apiece, $20 will buy 400--and scatter them around the house. Dump a dozen in every drawer. Throw a dozen under each car seat. Sew money chips to your shirt or tie. Build them into your belt or wallet or purse. Add a $50 chip to every $5, $10, or $20 bill in your wallet.

Let 'em scan.

If you can't blind them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

And if you can't see a golden business opportunity here, you're too dumb to be using a computer.

When you start selling chip-bags, chip-shirts, chip-ties, chip-belts, chip-wallets, chip-purses, etc., you can send my cut to my Paypal account at profeaston@adelphia.net.